Counterkelsey

I am an athlete. I claim that title. I do however try not to let the stereotypes of Guilford (or collegiate) athlete define who I am. Athletics can provide a number of things for a young girl- an outlet to be active, friends, and an introduction to group/team dynamics among other things. Sports can however develop a harsh mindset, of criticism and comparison. In attempting to better ones game by improving your jump serve or jump shot.

The many years of athletic participation have shaped my psyche. I don’t remember if I was competitive or self-critical before my three sport high school career but it's now muscle memory. In choosing to participate in collegiate sports I decided to continue this seemingly positive practice.

Lets bring this into perspective here: my first few days of surf lessons were fun on a surface level. There's a learning curve in any new sport- Have patience Kels. But as the week progressed and we moved into the green waves- the fun began to wear off, and beneath it I found a deep seeded hunger for self-improvement.

In a moment of frustration I confided in Maia. Big mistake (warning for anyone considering this, don’t. She'll tell you some stomach churning truth that makes you feel absolutely absurd for having even thought the complaint in the first place).

Her truth was something like:

Its apparent you haven’t tried to do anything completely new recently.

Looking down at my sandy toes as the second gallon of salt water was emptied out of my nose- I felt small.

I replied she was right, I had not taken up something new that was challenging me in the way surfing is.

I got a bit worked up about this totally accurate accusation for the rest of the night- trying to decide why I was feeling so terrible about surfing but also more importantly why I have actively avoided picking up new hobbies with fervor.

Competition. I blame my competitive nature. I like being good at things, I'm sure many can identify with that joy- but in my situation obtaining that level of satisfaction is almost impossible and never enough. This can unfortunately take a lot of enjoyment out of activities and right now- surfing is that activity.

Maia shared the below article with me- and I found it addressed my situation.

http://www.surfermag.com/features/progression-in-surfing/

The progression and advancing technologies in surfing that Justin addresses mirrors my desire for improvement. 

"I'd bet my entire quiver of ever-more-refined short boards that worrying about individual levels of progression saps more of the fun out of surfing than anything else."

So now Maia and Justin from Surfer have told me it's not about being a good surfer. So how do I challenge this desire to improve- I have yet to figure it out completely. I try and open my eyes, take in more than the on coming waves. If I miss a wave because I'm talking with my surf instructor about fish- if I get pummeled because I focus on the pelicans path overhead or if I get caught in a close out. It's Okay.

Krista Comer in Surfer Girls in the New World Order relates this hypercompetivite nature to Lisa Anderson's attitude as a young surfer girl "who will not settle, who will purse, in and out of sport, a no-matter-what philosophy of life."

But instead of this attitude forming a counterfeminist movement, I'm 
working on a counterkelsey initiative.

The infamous Maia 

Late Night Carrot Caking